The announcement has been met with mixed reactions, with supporters of Britain Furst and Tommy Robinson delighted, and other actual members of the human race, completely and utterly disgusted at potential racialist undertones.
“I am delighted!”, exclaimed self-proclaimed man-of-the-people David Felcher, “more jobs for the jam eaters and a celebration of the casual racism that old school Cumberland gammons like me relish. I’ve dusted off my old VHS recordings of Love thy Neighbour, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum and ‘Til Death Us Do Part, for a good old fashioned celebration of all things casually racist. I mean come on, golliwogs aren’t racist - they were on jam jars! I reckon Fyassbewk have censored Coun Smith in their purge of truth tellers like him and our Tommy. Bastards.”
Claims that Coun Smith’s Facebook account was hacked in a politically motivated attack were made across the media citing that the Robertson’s Jam announcement was a complete and utter hoax.
A storm in a jam-jar or unacceptable casual racism?
Cyber security expert Xavier Pokemone explained to The Cockermouth Standard that this is a rather unlikely scenario. “It is pretty inconceivable that Coun Smith is the victim of a malicious cyber hacking attack. The likely perpetrators would be Russia, China and North Korea, and as we all know The Peoples Republic of Allerdale is pretty closely aligned politically to all these groups. He could have been looking at some rather risqué websites in special alone times, but more than likely he just shared it of his own volition. We will never really know.”
Cockermouth socialite and token mouthpiece, Jemima Christensen, 48, of The Parklands is disgusted by the alleged Fyassbewk posting. “I can’t believe this post has apparently been shared by an upstanding member of the community. In the week that Tommy Robinson is banned, Momo is terrorising our little ones, to have a senior gentleman sharing racist nostalgia is just the last straw. All these people should be banned from the internet for life!”
A spokesperson for Allerdale Borough Council was unavailable for comment saying “Look, this is a storm in a teacup. The Glorious Leader has deleted his account and is telling you it wasn’t him. If you don’t stop printing this rubbish we will have no choice but to get our Chief Exec to be very shouty with your editor and storm off in a big strop for doing your job. This isn’t censorship, it’s purely ensuring that we have the right leader following the elections next May, otherwise we will have wasted over £1million on this bloody stadium for the Tories and the Indies to can it and we all want to see a replay of Scotland against Samoa in the rugby World Cup! Vote Labour!”
P.s. Remember dear reader, The Cockermouth Standard is “fake news”. Who knows what happened. But let’s not be racists. Even casual racism, is still, well, racism. Ed.
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