“Field of Dreams is a tragic comedy set during the planning phase for the Workington Community Stadium, lovingly known as the Jam Factory” explained local arts connoisseur Arkel Bucklefist, “a camera crew followed the main protagonists during their struggles to get two warring clans to join in peace to bring to life a vision of modernity, sport, regeneration and above all else fruit based conserves.”
“The parallels with the original ‘Field of Dreams’ starring Kevin Costner are uncanny. During one particularly heavily edited and obviously audibly redacted scene, the star of our film Coun Mark Fryer is seen getting increasingly frustrated by those who doubt that the stadium will ever reach capacity, that Workington Town will never get back to the Super League and that Workington Reds will ever raise higher in the football league than one sponsored by a substance more sticky than jam.”
“BUILD IT AND THEY WILL COME” blasts a visibly frustrated Fryer, during the films climatic closing scene after the council is continually berated by stadium detractors on Fyassbewk and Twatter.
The theatrical poster for documentary blockbuster Field of Dreams
Members of the public at the world premiere were moved to tears of joy as they were informed that the Rugby League World Cup would be coming to the new Workington stadium. “I couldn’t bloody believe it!” gushed random member of the public and definitely not a Momentum card-carrying member Dawn Scooner, “finally after all the hard work put in by our Workington Labour comrades we can get the investment in facilities that this town desparately needs to distract visitors from how much of a hole Moorclose and Moss Bay actually are.”
“Shiny new buildings is exactly what the people of Workington need. It’ll help those Moss Bay residents realise that as long as we have taxpayers money to flitter away on vanity projects such as the Workington Jam Factory that they can hope that one day that they will be able to break in and nick some of the high end Sellafield and NHS computers. Let’s just hope they stop short of defecating in the corner of the offices.”
Not all members of the community were pleased with the film with Coun Mark Jenkinson leading calls for all the footage to be released to the public. “The amount of strategic bleeping out of key phrases throughout this so called documentary is disgraceful. It is pure propaganda straight out of the Communist Manifesto. The council are trying to hide behind commercial confidentiality to prevent the public from knowing the truth. I will be making representations to every person under the sun to get this information released to the hard working taxpayers of Allerdale.”
A spokesperson for Allerdale was not available for comment saying “After the success of Al and the Dales theatre company we took the strategic decision to invest in this docudramacomedy. Ticket sales are through the roof! We couldn’t be happier, the £7.50 we have made so far will go some way to pay for the £25million needed to build the Jam Factory. Let everyone know that the film will be playing in The Carnegie on loop for the next 863 days until the stadium opens. Kids and verified card carrying Momentum members get free entry.”
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