Petrified of a reoccurrence of the despicable attack on international team coaches should the Rugby League World Cup return to Workington, council officials have reserved two Leyland National coaches, with steel reinforcement over the windows, to transport the lucky teams that will have the honour of playing at the Derwent Park stadium.
Blast from the Past - One of the Armoured Buses on Reserve
An unnamed council worker informed The Cockermouth Standard that “bringing the teams to Workington, the home of West Cumbrian rugby league, in a Workington-built - Workington-steel reinforced - Leyland National is extremely special given the heritage associated in this area with rugby, bus building, steel manufacture, socialist indoctrination, coal mining and industrial unrest. We have accelerated Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell’s plan to return this country to the glory days of the 1970s and 80s by at least five years!”
Cockermouth rent-a-gob and man of the people David Felcher fully supports the councils initiative; “What this area needs is to give itself a good reminder of the good old days when we didn’t answer to the EU, sports teams were shit scared in coming to this country and any risk of us having to put in a full shift of work meant that all comrades would be out on strike at a moments notice. Bringing back the good old reliable British Leyland National’s to transport our international rugby family to the premier stadium in this county is exactly the thing that an independent, backward - I mean - forward thinking nation like ours should do.”
“I am backing the bid 110%, and so are all the lads in the pigeon loft, even Jinky. The best thing to have happened to this area since we started converting those fucking buses into trains. Solid trains, that still run to this day, and that no one complains about. This is what Brexit is all about. Opportunity. Rugby. Industrial turmoil. Gammon.”
A spokesperson for Allerdale Borough Council was not available for comment, saying “Look we got enough shit years ago when some cock for brains vandalised that fucking bus. We aren’t taking any fucking chances this time. We thought - “what would Jesus do?” and the messiah Corbyn would of course want us to head straight back to the 80’s.”
When asked about how the potential World Cup bid would affect the chance of a new Workington combined sports stadium, the Allerdale spokesperson definitely didn’t say; “How else will we be able to convince people that spending money on a new Workington stadium is a good fucking idea? I mean, you try and make them numbers stack up - 120 reds fans and 500 town fans per fucking game. Give them an idea that we are a World Cup venue and hey presto the sheeple are back on side. Throw us a fucking bone here!! But not stones. And not at the fucking bus.”
No comments:
Post a Comment